


It’s 20000 years too early to go fuck yourself

by Memefricker69



Category: Ultraman Zero - Fandom, ウルトラシリーズ | Ultra Series
Genre: Clonefucking, Is it really gay if the ass that you're fucking is actually your own ass?, M/M, Spoiler alert: the clonefucking goes wrong, Zero needs an intervention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:04:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6196180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memefricker69/pseuds/Memefricker69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Saga.<br/>Zero decides to experiment with his new powers. It doesn’t go so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It’s 20000 years too early to go fuck yourself

You know what really sucked? Getting his ass kicked so hard he almost died.

You know what really really sucked? Being stuck inside the Mighty Base while his team went off on a swashbuckling adventure of epic proportions because apparently, after all those days of being treated by the Silver Cross members themselves, he still wasn’t fit for battle. Bull-frickin-horse-shit! Sure, his body was still sore here and there, but the discomfort was minor at best! He was more than fit for battle, dammit!

Letting out an enraged scream, Ultraman Zero drove his fist straight through the head of yet another practice dummy before shattering its torso with a roundhouse kick. Swearing under his breath, Zero made his way to the room where the UFZ stored their training equipment, only to find out that there were no more dummies left. 

“Uuuuuuuuuuugh, you’ve got to be fuckin kidding me!” the 49-meter cluster bomb of pent-up rage growled, his shoulders slumping. He wanted to destroy something SO BADLY, but wrecking the freshly-repaired base was out of the question.

Letting out a huge sigh, he trudged to his room and threw himself onto his bed so hard it barely withstood the impact. Pulling the fluffy blanket over his head, Zero tried to go to sleep to make the time of his “house arrest” pass faster.

However, something was stubbornly preventing him from falling asleep. At first Zero didn’t quite understand what it was, but when realization finally dawned, the most colorful combination of expletives to date exited the young Ultra’s mouth. 

Not only was Ultraman Zero scorchingly angry, but he was also…

…Unbearably horny.

And no, not the “I just need a good fap” kind of horny.

Not even the “Oh well, I could always use my Ultra Psychokinesis to telekinetically fuck myself with a dildo” kind of horny.

He was the “I WANT SEX NOW OR ELSE I WILL LOSE MY FUCKIN MIND!” kind of horny.

The UFZ were probably lightyears away right now.

Great.

Fuckin great.

Just his luck.

With a groan of utter hopelessness Zero slid off the bed and onto the floor in an act of total surrender.

As he lay there wallowing in despair, the sound of tiny claws scratching at the door broke the silence, followed by impatient squeaking.

“Ugh, no Moroboshi-kun, I’m not in the mood to play fetch with you, piss o…I…I mean, go away.” Zero grumbled. The Pigmon let out a sad squeak behind the closed door and waddled away, whining pitifully.

As the tiny creature’s whimpers reached his ears, Zero was suddenly struck with an epiphany.

Back then, during his showdown against Alien Bat Gurashie…He had saved Moroboshi-kun and defeated Gurashie at the same time…By splitting himself in two and using his Luna Miracle and Strong Corona modes at the same time…If he could do that again at a time like this…

“EUREKA! I’m a genius!” Zero exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He had just figured out the way to handle his little problem! Summoning the power bestowed upon him by Dyna and Cosmos, he split his body into Strong Corona and Luna Miracle Zero. Both Zeroes shared one consciousness, and even though controlling two bodies with one mind at the same time was kinda tricky at first, it wasn’t a problem anymore. 

But just as Zero got ready to execute his neat little plan, second thoughts crept up in his mind.

“Am I really about to…? Oh, quit it you wimp! It’s basically the same as just using your hand, only much better! You’ve done that a million times already, so JUST. DO IT! Wait, maybe I shouldn’t…This is probably a bad idea…OH, SCREW THIS!!!! LET’S GO! ”

After a moment of heated inner conflict Zero steeled himself and carried on with his plan.

Ten minutes later…

“THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER!!!” both Zeroes blissfully yelled in unison. Strong Corona was pinning Luna Miracle to the bed with one hand, thrusting into the blue clone with reckless abandon, his other hand wrapped around Luna Miracle’s dick, pumping to the rhythm of his thrusts. Thanks to the two clones having a shared consciousness, Zero’s senses were assaulted by the feeling of both fucking and being fucked at the same time. The doubled pleasure was so intense, he could barely keep himself from losing control over his cloning technique. “Heh, this is good training as well” he thought, “This way I’ll learn to use this power under any kind of stress! I’m killing two birds with one stone! Am I a genius or what?”

Zero’s endurance in bed wasn’t exactly top-class among the UFZ, and the doubled pleasure hastened his undoing even further. It didn’t take long for both clones to cry out in ectasy as they climaxed at the same time. The overwhelming pleasure of having two orgasms at the same time hit Zero like a hundred Arch Belials launched out of a catapult, his technique failing and causing him to revert to his original form. For a good few minutes all Zero could do was lie on his bed and gasp for air, the dorkiest of grins spreading across his face. When he was finally capable of coherent thought again, he jumped to his feet and pumped his fist in the air victoriously.

“WOOHOO! THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME! LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”

Zero couldn’t exactly last as long as, say, Glen or Jean Bot, but he was well known for his ability to recover in a ridiculously short time. After a brief break he split himself again, this time trying a new position and reversing the roles of his clones. He was only getting started! He had so many things in mind that he wanted to try with them!

Zero was so caught up in the moment, he completely forgot about two very important things. 

A) After a fairly severe injury he had sustained a few days ago, he still wasn’t at 100% 

B) Mode-shifting, let alone splitting himself into two clones, was taking a huge toll on his already weakened body. 

High on pleasure, he paid no mind to the feeling of lightheadedness that suddenly washed over him, nor to the fact that his clones’ fields of vision were getting progressively smaller and smaller. 

Zero passed out before he even knew what hit him.

Not long afterwards, the Ultimate Force finally arrived from their mission, banged up, covered in slime of extremely suspicious origin and carrying a gigantic cake presented to them for their efforts by the natives of the planet they’d saved. 

“Hey Zero! Come get your piece while I can still resist the temptation to eat it all!” Glenfire hollered.

He was met with dead silence save for the distant whimpering of Moroboshi-kun.

“I’m not kidding Zero!“

No answer.

“ I AM EATING YOUR CAKE RIGHT NOW!”

Still, silence.

Concerned about the wellbeing of their injured leader, the UFZ made their way towards his room to check on him. They were met with quite an uhhhh…Unusual sight.

Zero lay on his royally messed-up bed, out cold, covered in glowing red and blue splatters of cum, his Unstoppable Big Bang (actually, it wasn’t really that big) proudly standing at attention between his legs. 

“…What happened here?” Jean Nine inquired innocently. Awkward silence fell between the UFZ. Then, Glenfire let out a terrifying wheezing noise and slowly sank to the floor, beginning to literally roll on it laughing hysterically. His guffawing drowned out the sound of a sole camera shutter before the owner of the camera dove into a nearby mirror with a mischievous chuckle. Bot sighed and slowly dragged his hand down his face as Nine stared on in a confused stupor. Somewhere in the bowels of the Mighty Base, Moroboshi-kun was eating a tomato.


End file.
